man or mouse

have you ever had a period in your life where you stare at one of the most disgusting creation by mother nature and you suddenly feel so weak. well i just did. ok frankly speaking i am not the timid kind of guy or the kind who is overly brave. i guess about average. some people are scared of cockroaches, lizards, frogs...anything. encounters with these animals can happen at any time any place anywhere. you dont have a choice. it is often situations when its you versus the monster. no other people, no moral boost wadsoeva. its a one on one fight. ok but you of course are at an advantage( you have stuff like insect sprays, heavy books, a slipper, lighter+ deo(huan hock) ). i know it sounds stupid but ask your self frankly, can you kill it within a minute.
i had a battle with a cockroache on my computer desk and i tell you somehow i feel like a weakling. it suddenly crawled onto my desk. while i was surfing the net. it startled me as i wasnt expecting such a surprising entrance by the roach. i moved back and just stared back. my first instinct was to smash it. but when i turn away for a moment to check my 'arsenal of weapons', it was gone. and damn! hell would i wanat a roach near my desk. i looked for a can of insect spray and looked for it. i looked for 3 minutes and realized that such an action was fruitless. i thought in my mind where it might have went. i pointed the spray's nozzle at those places and sprayed it like mad. sure enough a roach came out. lesson 1 keeping calm and doing some critical thinking helps. it stared at me and i saw its huge mandibles moving in a inter-locking fashion. damn that looked so gross. of cos instincts kicked in and i 'gunned' it down with my spray. it scuttled away under my desk, a hard place to reach. it was suppouse to die. i waited and waited but it just stayed there flipped on its back. all it did was shake its legs about. that stopped me from using my computer for 30 mins. i just couldnt kill it. and i hell would i know why. i was going to smack it with my slipper but i jsut stoned there. you ever had that kind of feeling? its way too weird. so it took me awhile to rethink everything and i asked my self...are you man or mouse? well that proved to be a good question and so i smacked it. of course its guts arent pretty. after all that time it was shaking its leggs, i couldnt get it out of my mind. it was so bad that when i use a tissue and tried to pick it up, my hand was shaking for the fear that it might suddenly jump out. it did not seem like a feat for anyone but it was for me to hold it there and dump it into the bin. i never had such a problem and had been known to pick up lizards for the fun of it. but somehow i just lost to a roach.